There are as many stylists out there, as there are willing and eager clientele who want a professional to change their look.
The relationship between a stylist and their client is an important and delicate one and believe it or not the quality of the relationship has a strong influence on the eventual results you get with your styling!
Don't believe me?Consider this:Styling (whether its hair,makeup clothes,interiors.etc) is part science, part art.
The science part are your basic principles(following the structure of the face,not jabbing a lipstick in your eye,not using holi colours as hair colour substitute,etc).The art bit,well,this a tricky one,largely depends on the stylist's innate creativity and energy "flow" at any given moment.
So,quite simply if your stylists energy flow is disrupted for any given reasons,at the precise moment you decide to try the new bob you have always wanted since 1982-good luck with the results(regardless of how well she/he uses the science bit!).
Now,I am not in any way trying to ask you to assume responsibility for whether your stylist's "energy"is on the right side of the tracks or not!
However, after working with hundreds of clients in my 20 year career as a stylist I do believe I have the formula for a pretty good (if not perfect)Stylist/Clientele "Love Story".And we all know that Love makes energy flow better right?And better energy equals a better styling result!
This is my first in a series of articles about choosing and keeping the right stylist for you.
Let us begin with a list of "Things you should never say to your stylist and things your stylist should never say to you" (This,like any other significant relationship is a two way street)
Things you should never say to your stylist:
1.Who are you (IE I have never heard of you before)?
OK people,this one can really hurt your stylists feelings because it basically tells them you think they are not good enough,but are "settling"for them because you cant "afford"the more famous stylist.Remember that just because someone is not super duper famous they are not necessarily. not good at their work.There are discreet ways to dish the dirt on your stylist (use the Internet or ask friends for references)but don't cut short a promising relationship with that sentence!
2.I am getting a better rate at XYZ's place.Why do YOU charge so much?
OK ladies and gentiles,agreed that you probably ARE getting a better "deal" somewhere else,but that question straight and straight sounds like a terrorist attack on the stylists(probably only) means of livelihood.
Stylists rates are determined basis many many things including the equipment they use,hours and hours of training they went through (and paid very heavily for),taxes,rent,food,shelter...and of course their creative inputs which are unique.You get the picture.
If you really do have a budget,better you tell the stylist upfront "I have a certain price that I can pay right now..or "Do you have anything in the price range of...".If you ask nicely you may get a discount or a really good and sincere stylist may redirect you to someone with more suitable prices.Remember,your budget is YOUR decision.If you are not willing or able to pay what your stylist asks,then politely find another,but don't attack their rates,because they may not suit you.
3."Just do whatever you think is right....I am not fussy..."
Um mm err,excuse me?/You really think YOU are not fussy?Knock Knock!!If you re "Not fussy"about your appearance then why are you at the stylists in the first place?I have seen so many people go to stylist with no clear idea of what they want,and then get angry with the STYLIST when they don't end up looking they way they want!Come on people,we are not mind readers and clairvoyants!Be specific or be willing to bear the consequences.Your best bet is to use a picture that closely resembles what you want and then tell also your stylist verbally, in as much detail as possible ,what you are looking for.Also remember the golden rule:NEVER let a creative person,do exactly what THEY want on your body/face/living room-you may just become the only willing victim for the new "Marlyn Mason"look they always wanted to try but never found a "volunteer"for...now you know why!Touche!
4."I want to look just like Katrina Kaif...",
"I am actually 10 shades fairer then this...can you make me look my "real"colour... or
"I don't want to cut colour or straighten my hair but still want it to look different..."
.....and so on and so forth..
Its time for us stylists to tell you all some very profound truths: A.The only person who looks like Katrina Kaif is guess who?Katrina Kaif!She has the sole rights to her face and she's not franchising! B..The only known living human to have radically altered his skin colour was Michael Jackson and C.Honey pie,even the most talented stylist in the world has to actually "change"your hair to "change"your hair!
Please understand that stylists are stylists-not plastic surgeons,spin doctors or relatives of Gandalf from Lord of the rings!A really good stylist will make you look like the best Meena Bakshi or Anna Smith or Tejal Gandhi.We all have our own unique beauty!Embrace it and allow the stylist to enhance it!
5."Can you also trim my sister/dog/watchman's hair..it will only take 5 minutes..."or
"Can you paint my nails for free since you are charging SO much for the makeup..."
OK.So all we have to say here is ,that if you have ever been to eat a thali at a thali joint,you will see a notice on the wall which says "Sharing not Allowed"Same rules apply here.
Now am sure that all this ranting has made you wonder...but hey hang on a minute,sometimes it's my stylist who is an A****h##e..
I couldn't agree more,so this brings us to the next section of this article...
What your stylist should never say to you...
1."You have put on sooo much weight!!"
"You really should get that cream I told you about,your crow lines are SO starting to show..."
OK,so I know I said that the stylist/client relationship is an "intimate"one,but not to the extent that the stylist mistakes you for their kid sister!While its perfectly acceptable for your stylist to give you advice when asked for,unsolicited advice,personal comments and so on are just downright invasion of privacy!I once went to a hairdresser who while washing my hair,kept complaining about how dry it was,how much hair I was losing,and how eventually I was going bald!I had gone to the salon that day to feel "better"about myself after having endured a rough phase of ill health,disastrous relationships and general life grief!Needless to say I was temptingly eyeing my Crocin packet later that night and wondering what an extra dose may do...(thankfully the optimist in me prevailed).
In simple words,if your stylist gets too personal in ways that are uncomfortable to you,let them know it and if they don't change their behaviour get another stylist!
2."I am giving you this season's Miley Cyrus cut and that's it...no argument!"
Errr Pardon me?While its perfectly acceptable for your stylist to "recommend" a look they really should not be imposing it on you.
"Looks"whether makeup/hair/clothes..etc,should be a joint discussion and agreement not a diktat from any stylist panchayat!
3."That will be xyz for your session plus this and that and sundry...."
I don't know about you but I like to know my costs upfront.Nothing is more annoying and also awkward then thinking you are paying x and actually paying why.To avoid this confusion ask upfront "Is this a total cost or are there other costs I may need to pay for/ extras?"At Lilac we follow a transparency policy-all our costs have to be explained upfront to our clients so they are not shocked or feel cheated later.
4."Oh darling...You re gonna have to wait till July 2020 for an appointment...."
While its true that a celeb stylist or a really popular one may have a bulging little black book,your time is as important as any celebrity stylist! Don't fall into the trap of waiting and waiting just because its trendy to wait!I am going to quote an example of my Gynaec here.(yes,yes,laugh if you must,but Doctor/ Patient relationships are as sensitive as Stylist/Client ones!)I had this Gynaec I would visit for routine checks who was touted as one of the best in town-and she was,no doubt a really good doctor.But I spent nothing less than 3 hours in her waiting room on each visit,and after exhausting all the dog eared copies of Femina and Filmfare the clinic had on offer I would be ushered in to her room for a fleeting exam,and rushed out soon after.
One day I was visiting a friend and he mentioned that his cousin, who was a Gynaec, had opened a new clinic in my area.That turned out be life saving info for me later, when I developed a serious problem that needed SOS treatment.Off I went to the new clinic,and was in the patient's seat within a few minutes-no waiting room and endless reading old mags (I did pick up some great household tips off one of the women's Mag's in ex docs clinic,though I never remember them when I need them).
Now,seven years later,I still have my friends cousin as my Gynaec (who was equally good if not better )and it worked much better for me then the "famous"one.
5."..Look at what the cat dragged in ..."
Okay,seriously no stylist would ever really have the guts to say that to your face (at least, none that I know of)but some can definitely make you feel that way.
Here is a rule that I now pretty much always follow:If being around a particular person,object,or place makes you feel angsty,uncomfortable or dreadful for no particular reason-RUN don't walk.
Yeah someone may argue that some vague Jungian philosophy explains that the person you are uncomfortable with,may have nothing to do with your angst-they may just vaguely remind you of an unlikable figure from the past and put all your Neuro peptides into "regress"mode.It could be that,or it could be that they just don't like you,are secretly making fun of you or are just a downright "bi**h".Either ways its doesn't matter-Choose a stylist you are happy and comfy being around and don't stick around with one that doesn't make you smile-for whatever reasons!
So basically, being nice and respectful, and loving the other and your selves ,you should set the tone for a fruitful and happy Stylist/Client relationship .
My next article, will cover in more detail, tips,on how you can choose a stylist who is right for you.
Till then, love the one you've got!Happy Beautification and many more years of joyful styling relationships!
The relationship between a stylist and their client is an important and delicate one and believe it or not the quality of the relationship has a strong influence on the eventual results you get with your styling!
Don't believe me?Consider this:Styling (whether its hair,makeup clothes,interiors.etc) is part science, part art.
The science part are your basic principles(following the structure of the face,not jabbing a lipstick in your eye,not using holi colours as hair colour substitute,etc).The art bit,well,this a tricky one,largely depends on the stylist's innate creativity and energy "flow" at any given moment.
So,quite simply if your stylists energy flow is disrupted for any given reasons,at the precise moment you decide to try the new bob you have always wanted since 1982-good luck with the results(regardless of how well she/he uses the science bit!).
Now,I am not in any way trying to ask you to assume responsibility for whether your stylist's "energy"is on the right side of the tracks or not!
However, after working with hundreds of clients in my 20 year career as a stylist I do believe I have the formula for a pretty good (if not perfect)Stylist/Clientele "Love Story".And we all know that Love makes energy flow better right?And better energy equals a better styling result!
This is my first in a series of articles about choosing and keeping the right stylist for you.
Let us begin with a list of "Things you should never say to your stylist and things your stylist should never say to you" (This,like any other significant relationship is a two way street)
Things you should never say to your stylist:
1.Who are you (IE I have never heard of you before)?
OK people,this one can really hurt your stylists feelings because it basically tells them you think they are not good enough,but are "settling"for them because you cant "afford"the more famous stylist.Remember that just because someone is not super duper famous they are not necessarily. not good at their work.There are discreet ways to dish the dirt on your stylist (use the Internet or ask friends for references)but don't cut short a promising relationship with that sentence!
2.I am getting a better rate at XYZ's place.Why do YOU charge so much?
OK ladies and gentiles,agreed that you probably ARE getting a better "deal" somewhere else,but that question straight and straight sounds like a terrorist attack on the stylists(probably only) means of livelihood.
Stylists rates are determined basis many many things including the equipment they use,hours and hours of training they went through (and paid very heavily for),taxes,rent,food,shelter...and of course their creative inputs which are unique.You get the picture.
If you really do have a budget,better you tell the stylist upfront "I have a certain price that I can pay right now..or "Do you have anything in the price range of...".If you ask nicely you may get a discount or a really good and sincere stylist may redirect you to someone with more suitable prices.Remember,your budget is YOUR decision.If you are not willing or able to pay what your stylist asks,then politely find another,but don't attack their rates,because they may not suit you.
3."Just do whatever you think is right....I am not fussy..."
Um mm err,excuse me?/You really think YOU are not fussy?Knock Knock!!If you re "Not fussy"about your appearance then why are you at the stylists in the first place?I have seen so many people go to stylist with no clear idea of what they want,and then get angry with the STYLIST when they don't end up looking they way they want!Come on people,we are not mind readers and clairvoyants!Be specific or be willing to bear the consequences.Your best bet is to use a picture that closely resembles what you want and then tell also your stylist verbally, in as much detail as possible ,what you are looking for.Also remember the golden rule:NEVER let a creative person,do exactly what THEY want on your body/face/living room-you may just become the only willing victim for the new "Marlyn Mason"look they always wanted to try but never found a "volunteer"for...now you know why!Touche!
4."I want to look just like Katrina Kaif...",
"I am actually 10 shades fairer then this...can you make me look my "real"colour... or
"I don't want to cut colour or straighten my hair but still want it to look different..."
.....and so on and so forth..
Its time for us stylists to tell you all some very profound truths: A.The only person who looks like Katrina Kaif is guess who?Katrina Kaif!She has the sole rights to her face and she's not franchising! B..The only known living human to have radically altered his skin colour was Michael Jackson and C.Honey pie,even the most talented stylist in the world has to actually "change"your hair to "change"your hair!
Please understand that stylists are stylists-not plastic surgeons,spin doctors or relatives of Gandalf from Lord of the rings!A really good stylist will make you look like the best Meena Bakshi or Anna Smith or Tejal Gandhi.We all have our own unique beauty!Embrace it and allow the stylist to enhance it!
5."Can you also trim my sister/dog/watchman's hair..it will only take 5 minutes..."or
"Can you paint my nails for free since you are charging SO much for the makeup..."
OK.So all we have to say here is ,that if you have ever been to eat a thali at a thali joint,you will see a notice on the wall which says "Sharing not Allowed"Same rules apply here.
Now am sure that all this ranting has made you wonder...but hey hang on a minute,sometimes it's my stylist who is an A****h##e..
I couldn't agree more,so this brings us to the next section of this article...
What your stylist should never say to you...
1."You have put on sooo much weight!!"
"You really should get that cream I told you about,your crow lines are SO starting to show..."
OK,so I know I said that the stylist/client relationship is an "intimate"one,but not to the extent that the stylist mistakes you for their kid sister!While its perfectly acceptable for your stylist to give you advice when asked for,unsolicited advice,personal comments and so on are just downright invasion of privacy!I once went to a hairdresser who while washing my hair,kept complaining about how dry it was,how much hair I was losing,and how eventually I was going bald!I had gone to the salon that day to feel "better"about myself after having endured a rough phase of ill health,disastrous relationships and general life grief!Needless to say I was temptingly eyeing my Crocin packet later that night and wondering what an extra dose may do...(thankfully the optimist in me prevailed).
In simple words,if your stylist gets too personal in ways that are uncomfortable to you,let them know it and if they don't change their behaviour get another stylist!
2."I am giving you this season's Miley Cyrus cut and that's it...no argument!"
Errr Pardon me?While its perfectly acceptable for your stylist to "recommend" a look they really should not be imposing it on you.
"Looks"whether makeup/hair/clothes..etc,should be a joint discussion and agreement not a diktat from any stylist panchayat!
3."That will be xyz for your session plus this and that and sundry...."
I don't know about you but I like to know my costs upfront.Nothing is more annoying and also awkward then thinking you are paying x and actually paying why.To avoid this confusion ask upfront "Is this a total cost or are there other costs I may need to pay for/ extras?"At Lilac we follow a transparency policy-all our costs have to be explained upfront to our clients so they are not shocked or feel cheated later.
4."Oh darling...You re gonna have to wait till July 2020 for an appointment...."
While its true that a celeb stylist or a really popular one may have a bulging little black book,your time is as important as any celebrity stylist! Don't fall into the trap of waiting and waiting just because its trendy to wait!I am going to quote an example of my Gynaec here.(yes,yes,laugh if you must,but Doctor/ Patient relationships are as sensitive as Stylist/Client ones!)I had this Gynaec I would visit for routine checks who was touted as one of the best in town-and she was,no doubt a really good doctor.But I spent nothing less than 3 hours in her waiting room on each visit,and after exhausting all the dog eared copies of Femina and Filmfare the clinic had on offer I would be ushered in to her room for a fleeting exam,and rushed out soon after.
One day I was visiting a friend and he mentioned that his cousin, who was a Gynaec, had opened a new clinic in my area.That turned out be life saving info for me later, when I developed a serious problem that needed SOS treatment.Off I went to the new clinic,and was in the patient's seat within a few minutes-no waiting room and endless reading old mags (I did pick up some great household tips off one of the women's Mag's in ex docs clinic,though I never remember them when I need them).
Now,seven years later,I still have my friends cousin as my Gynaec (who was equally good if not better )and it worked much better for me then the "famous"one.
5."..Look at what the cat dragged in ..."
Okay,seriously no stylist would ever really have the guts to say that to your face (at least, none that I know of)but some can definitely make you feel that way.
Here is a rule that I now pretty much always follow:If being around a particular person,object,or place makes you feel angsty,uncomfortable or dreadful for no particular reason-RUN don't walk.
Yeah someone may argue that some vague Jungian philosophy explains that the person you are uncomfortable with,may have nothing to do with your angst-they may just vaguely remind you of an unlikable figure from the past and put all your Neuro peptides into "regress"mode.It could be that,or it could be that they just don't like you,are secretly making fun of you or are just a downright "bi**h".Either ways its doesn't matter-Choose a stylist you are happy and comfy being around and don't stick around with one that doesn't make you smile-for whatever reasons!
So basically, being nice and respectful, and loving the other and your selves ,you should set the tone for a fruitful and happy Stylist/Client relationship .
My next article, will cover in more detail, tips,on how you can choose a stylist who is right for you.
Till then, love the one you've got!Happy Beautification and many more years of joyful styling relationships!
Wonderful writing and so informative. I've never hired a stylist, I always thought it was for celebs. I would love your expert advice Lippi. You have great taste and style. I've seen you for 20 years!
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